A Day Late - The Junos

After bashing the Grammys so relentlessly, it's only fair that I own up to the travesty that is this year's Juno nominations.

First - let's start with some positivity. Traditionally the Junos have been cooler than the Grammys. They invented - for example - the idea of having the awards in an arena rather than a stuffy theatre (and inviting the teeming masses in to rock along). Mainstream American award shows have since followed.

We've also seen cool things like Blue Rodeo playing with The Band (the only time, as far as I know, they played with Robertson since splitting) and there was that great year - 1993 - when Bryan Adams and Tom Cochrane were kicking ass worldwide.

This year it's all about Nickleback - The Canadian Creed (see below for Creed sentiments). When I hear Nickleback I'm almost more upset for them than I am for me (almost).
Even more pathetic than Nickleback itself are its spawn - Theory of a Deadman and Default. Both sound so much like Nickleback (Chad Kroeger produced their albums) that you want to grab them by the lapels and ask how they can possibly so deaf as to not know they sound EXACTLY like Nickleback. NIckleback, simply put, is the nadir of Canadian music in the last 10 or 15 years.

(It's a weak joke but I kinda imagine they got their name when someone bought their first CD for 5 cents and demanded his money back. I would have.)

This in an era where bands from across the country - New Pornographers, Broken Social Scene, Arcade Fire and a dozen others - are the height of indie cool, worldwide. What I'm saying is nothing new - (The Star's Ben Rayner has a decent article on it PLUS a Nickleback concert review) it's pretty obvious if you look at the nominations.

I mean, Celine Dion is in the running for the fan-chosen artist of the year.
So are Barenaked Ladies, who I love - but they haven't done anything this year!

As for the rest of the nominees:
*A Simple Plan are 3rd generation Green Day rip-offs (and I'm being nice because this blog is public).
*Kalan Porter is a freaky popper who is sad even bit American/Canadian Idol standards.
*Michael Buble and Diana Krall are okay for what they are. (Come to think of it, A Simple Plan's faux-punk is so lame that they're really basically just Michael Buble for disenfranchised-but-still-shop-at-the-Gap teens).
*Theory of a Deadman suck so hard that even if they all worked at McDonalds, and they were all really good at it, they stil shouldn't be nominated for so much as Employee of the Month. A Juno nomination is a national embarassment.
*A couple of good folk are nominated for New Artist - I'd like Martha Wainwright (a Canuck, albeit working out of New York) to take it
*If you want to see one sensible category, look at Songwriter of the Year
-Aracde Fire
-Joel Plaskett
-Kathleen Edwards
-Neil Young
-Ron Sexsmith
*If you want to see an embarassment of a cateogry look at "Adult Alternative." Since when are Blue Rodeo, Kathleen Edwards and Neil Young "alternative" of any kind?
Compare that category of talented people to the embarassment of "Album of the Year:"
Christmas Songs Diana Krall
219 Days Kalan Porter
It’s Time Michael Bublé
All The Right Reasons Nickelback
Under The Lights Rex Goudie

If Kalan Porter and Nickleback are mainstream and Kathleen Edwards is "alternative," I'll enjoy my life out here on the edge a while longer.

The rock cateogry is filled with people like Our Lady Peace (gack - they're still around!?) and the afforementioned Nickleback and their spawn.

The point, in the end?
Canadian music kicks ass. The Junos (at least this year), not so much.