Bond VIII - Live and Let Die

Firstly it is incumbent upon me to mention the new "scientific" study declaring that Connery is the "best" Bond.

I kinda think the picture likes most like Lazenby but, whatever.
Basically my conclusion thus far is that all the Bonds have their great and weak moments. Connery got there first and therefore he is the standard by which all others are judged.

Which brings us to Roger Moore's first try. Off the top I'll say that most of the problems with this film have to do with it aiming a bit low, and with Moore himself. It shows signs of better things to come. I should also toss out that the DVD has a rather funny British milk commercial, ("Pick up a pinto!") showing the cast and crew of the new 007 flick sipping milk. The extras also make mention of how Burt Reynolds nearly got cast in the part.

-The cold open is a real series of "What the fucks?" since Bond isn't even in the whole thing. It's three guys getting snuffed, albeit in creative ways: UN earbomb, New Orleans funeral march and (of course) Voodoo Snake Guy. Luckily all this confusion leads into THE BEST BOND SONG EVER.

-Bond has some nice digs. He even has an espresso machine. The initial difference one picks up between Connery and Moore is that Connery (and Daniel Craig, I'd add) seems like a street tough who learned to be suave as cover while he's kicking ass. Moore seems like he's a suave guy who learned to kick ass...

-Man, it's ANOTHER Felix Leiter. How is it possible that I never before realized what a useless douchebag he is? Has he ever been played by the same guy twice? It's nice to know that the CIA has a black guy on call for missions like this (ie where the bad guys are all black) but I'm still wondering: Where is the FBI? It's this kind of territoriality that lead to the 9/11 intelligence failures.
(Trivia: this dude actually played Leiter again! Sure, it was 25 years later but still...points for effort.)

-I like the white pimpmobile (not necessarily the best vehicle for a subtle getaway) and I love the young, smiley Yaphet Kotto.
It's impressive that every black person in New York City seems to be working as part of this smuggling op and helping tail Bond. Bond in Harlem is a good idea for a movie...but they had throw in the voodoo sutff.

-"Names is for tombstones, baby," is clearly the best ever response to, "My name is Bond. James Bond."

-It's also worth noting that for all the bitching about Daniel Craig beyond "the blonde Bond," Moore's hair is awful close. Unlike Connery at least these guys HAVE real hair. Sorry, Sean.

-Holy shit! The Voodoo guys recruited the laughing guy from the 7-Up commercials! This is devastating news. IT's frickin PUNJAB, people!

Did you know he's a Tony winning director AND he narrated Tim Burton's Charlie and The Chocolate Factory?
That's CRAZY!

-Bond's got spray-on aftershave, a monstrous cigar and tells chicks things like, "We can lick you into shape." He's still got it.

-Depending on your point-of-view Quarrel Jr. is either a cute throwback or rather pointless. All I know is that Rosie looks pretty good with a bikini and a gun and I admire Bond's iterracial tendencies. It's almost as admirable as his desire to screw women who he knows will try to kill him after.

-In addition the aforementioned hydrofoils and hovercrafts, I want to on record saying that movies need more handgliding. It's one of the more absurd things we, as a species, have come up with.

-The tarot cards show nookie and therefore Bond must bed Solitaire. For the second time since Connery left, Bond has scored with two different chicks in one day.

-I believe the first "Holy shit!" in a Bond movie goes to the old lady taking flying lessons.

-Crocodiles are ugly creatures but if you know you're killing Bond with the crocs...why not just toss him in? Why the drama?

-The bayou boat chase is cool and the fx have improved the point where we can see Moore actually driving a racing boat as opposed to seeing Connery pretending he's driving a car in front of a movie screen.

-Ah, it's Sherrif Pepper! He's damned funny...and kinda doing his own wacky thing.
Here are some odd facts about Clifton James, who has been in a billion things. He's from New York, not the south. A look at his credits shows that he has played similar sherrif parts many times, most prominently in Superman II where, as far as I can tell, he was the exact same character. Despite the fact that Sherrif JW Pepper mostly seems to be in some other movie (albeit an amusing one, perhaps Dukes of Hazard) he will (unlike Felix Leiter) return for a cameo in The Man With the Golden Gun. The important thing to know about the sherrif is that he calls EVERYONE "boy," not just black people. When he says to "Call Billy Bob!" you know things are getting good.

-Bond has apparently traded in his li'l Walther PPK for a full-on magnum. Perhaps the producers thought Dirty Harry was making Bond look like a sissy?

-I kinda like Kananga. He has a sense of humour and he smiles a lot. But then he stupidly explains how his lame heroin smuggling op works and lets me down. Then instead of stabbing Bond in the stomach and tossing him in with the sharks he gives him three cuts on the arm and lets him wait for the sharks. I wonder how THIS will end. Oh, and Kanagnga - shark tanks are soooo 1965.

-Making Kananga turn into a balloon and blow up is cool, weird and distrubing at the same time.

-The guy with the metal hand, like his boss, has a cheery disposition when he's at work. This may be the first (but certainly not the last!) time the henchman outlives his master and wreaks havoc when it looks like everything is okay.

-"I was being disarming" is an appropriate and amusing line for dispensing with roboman. Phew, the world is safe.
But wait...PUNJAB IS ON THE BACK OF THE TRAIN!!! HE'S LAUGHING!!! EVILLLY?
(Ed note: This does not pay off in any future Bond movies but as Mr. Carver is still quite active I would HIGHLY reccomend that he be included in the next Daniel Craig film.)