Bond V - You Only Live Twice

Ah, the one where Bond is diguised as a Japanese person...we'll get to that.

-Where did they find these Mission Control actors? One guy keeps saying "Cape-com" instead of "Cap-com" and another guy contacts "Hooston."

-Bond's dead? Bummer. He gets a pretty elaborate fake funeral, however. This might be the least memorable Bond theme song ever.

-The screenplay is by Roald Dahl?? Really?

-Brits on submarines wear waist-high shorts and knee-high socks. Who knew?

-I'm disappointed that the door to M's submarine office isn't upholstered. Also, it's kinda silly that he tells Bond, "This is the big one," before sending him out.

-Sumo wrestling? Nice.

-There are lots of reasons to get a house that does not have paper walls.

-Tiger Tanaka is way cooler than Felix Leiter. He has a cooler name (natch), fancy digs (with girls who will bathe you) - he even has his own train. There's a bit of sexist talk (and hairy chest talk!) in the bath, but that's okay. At least Bond doesn't rape anyone this time.

-Tanaka has cool exploding cigarettes. Hmmm, I wonder if Bond will ask for an innocent last smoke at some point...

-In the first 5 movies, Bond has been offered or drunk 1953, '55, and '59 Dom Perignon.

-Disposing of a car with a helicopter and a massive magnet is cool, but not that efficient.

-Cool-ass shot of 007 fighting guys on a rooftop. Then he gets knocked out like a bitch.

-For the second time in two movies Bond scores with a redhead who wants to kill him. Why not? I don't understand why she takes him up in a plane to kill him...once again, a bullet will do, folks.

-Ah, Q! And he has the British issue shorts. And an ultra-neat gyrocopter called Little Nellie.
It's a cool gadget but Bond still looks stupid with the helmet on.

-Japan has some love scenery and volcanoes. But I don't understand why you can see palm trees in the launch of the Russian rocket.

-Blofeld's in da house! And he's got pirahnas!

-Ninja school! NINJAS! Why didn't you say there were ninjas? This Tanaka guy keeps getting cooler.

-So, they're gonna disguise Bond as a Japanese fellow and train him to be a ninja in two days. Hmmm...let's wait and see how it turns out.

-Just like I thought - he looks exactly like James Bond. His Japanese sounds okay, but with a Scots accent. The biggest change he (allegedly) underwent was having his chest hair shaved (with a lemon?). Inexplicably, it's grown back by the end of the movie. This was a bad idea, writers. You couldn't pull it off at all.

Mostly, 007 looks like a Romulan.

-Why is this chick (Hockey? Aki?) wearing a bikini and slippers for their many-mile hike up a volcano? Why are they both dressed in white?

-Blofeld has a REALLY nice lair. But now the ninjas are coming! Now what, tough guy?!

-Quelle surprise! Bond asks for a last smoke with his exploding cigarette. This won't end well for Team Blofeld.

-This is a big, long battle. Bond finally gets to the self destruct and he's damned lucky he didn't blow up the nearby capsule but...whatever.

-Just like the last movie, Bond ends up in a raft with a chick. This time, however, a sub pops up underneath. That's cool, I guess.